Men and Women Are Their Orgasms the Same or Different

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    Is sex all we ever talk about? To a certain extent, we have sex on the brain. In today’s world, it’s hard not to since so many publications are running stories about sex. The orgasm in particular is a common topic of discussion. If you’re curious about the female orgasm vs. male orgasm, then you are not alone. Although there are differences in the orgasm for men and women, physiologically they are very similar. In general, an orgasm is rhythmic contractions of the muscles of the pelvic area, resulting in a discharge of sexual tension. This is true for female orgasm and male orgasm. So, the actual “what an orgasm is” remains the same for both sexes. The difference in female orgasm vs. male orgasm comes more from what causes the orgasm to originate, how easily it is brought on, and the ease with which another orgasm can be brought on after the first one.

    In men, the origination of the orgasm is deceptively straightforward. Traditional wisdom says that men’s orgasm stems from stimulation to the penis. This can be accomplished through vaginal intercourse, anal intercourse, fellatio, and even manual stimulation from either a partner or by one’s own hand, which we typically label masturbation. Most people believe that men must ejaculate in order to have had an orgasm, but there is such a thing as a ‘dry orgasm’ for men. Conversely, it is possible for men to ejaculate in the absence of an orgasm. Thus, the myth of the ejaculate equals orgasm in men is false. For some time, we’ve typically thought of men’s orgasm as so simplistic it barely rated discussion, but as of late we’re beginning to realize there is more complexity than we thought. We are now aware that stimulation of the prostate can also result in an orgasm for men.

    In females, an orgasm can result from stimulation of the clitoris, the G-spot, or the vaginal cavity, which we usually refer to as a deep spot, AFE, or A-spot orgasm. Clitoral stimulation to orgasm can occur through oral sex, manual stimulation, stimulation using a vibrator or other implement, or less frequently, through contract during intercourse. This is the most common type of orgasm for women. In fact, 70% of women report this is the only originating location for orgasm. The G-spot can be stimulated manually, using a vibrator or implement, or less frequently through intercourse. The location of the G-spot makes stimulation through intercourse very challenging. The fingers or other implements are the most efficacious means of reaching this erogenous zone. The deep spot/A-spot/AFE can be reached best through orgasm, but men who are less endowed may find this challenging. There are reports of vibrators or implements being designed for this spot (long, thin, and curved at the very end) but locating a vibrator specific to the A-spot in the United States is difficult.

    In general, it is easier to bring on an orgasm in male vs. female. In fact, 90% of men always orgasm during intercourse. Only 25% of women report the same. In fact, there are 30% of women who have never had an orgasm, through intercourse or otherwise (including masturbation). Thus, the female orgasm has more mystiques surrounding it vs. the male orgasm, which is considered much simpler to produce. Many people have gone so far as to say finding a man who is a good lover-as defined by the ability to consistently bring his female partners to orgasm-is more rare than finding a woman who is a good lover. And, further, that the definition of a woman being a good lover is more complicated than simply ensuring her partner has an orgasm each time they have sex.

    Another common myth in the female orgasm vs. male orgasm centers upon the ease with which another orgasm can be brought on after the first one. In laymen’s terms, we call this the multiple orgasms. The myth is that only females can have a multiple orgasm, but new research suggests otherwise. Typically, when men orgasm, they experience what is called a refractory period. This is a period of time during which no matter how much they might desire to, sex is impossibility. The body needs to recover from the previous sexual release. Traditionally, people have believed that men have one orgasm, then must wait out the refractory period-which it is believed grows longer as one ages-before another attempt at orgasm can be made. We are now learning that many men can in fact have multiple orgasms. This is especially true in men who experience the dry orgasm. But men who began sexual contact (including masturbating) before reaching puberty often report both the dry orgasm and the ability to orgasm multiple times consecutively. There are also men who have reported teaching themselves to have multiple orgasms, as well as delaying their original ejaculation.

    Thus, the female orgasm vs. the male orgasm is surrounded by much myth, legend, and uncertainty. Therefore, learning all you can about orgasm and sexual stimulation will give you in edge. Sexual stimulation and orgasm are something we all think about and are interested, as evidenced by the amount of air time both topics receive.

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